Can you say that you do not have any emotional baggage? Do you know why certain behaviors or words hurt your feelings? Recognizing the emotional wounds -- especially those that are unhealed is the first step in identifying unmet needs in your relationship. Both partners have wounds and unmet needs. To Co-Create a Conscious Relationship, you must learn to identify these wounds, see how they impact your relationship, and rectify the situation. This assessment begins the revealing and, at times, painful, experience of healing wounds. This free set of assessments offers you the chance to find powerful answers. If you are willing to take the time to reflect on these questions, discuss them, and be honest with yourselves and each other, it can help you on your journey to Co-Create a Conscious Relationship so you can be Best Friends During the Day,
Lovers at Night, and
Partners for Life.
The adventure of life gives us the incredible opportunity to learn and grow as individuals. I like to say that we do not stop learning, stretching, growing, maturing, and changing until we are 6 feet under. What happens so often is we go through life unaware that we dont know what we dont know. In this fast-paced world, many of us do not have or take the time to sit, take a deep breath, and really think about the statements addressed in these assessments. We usually do not reflect on and consider the impact the answers to these statements can have on our relationship. We must gain the awareness, learn the techniques, and practice the skills to Co-Create a Conscious Relationship. Take your time to think about each statement and be honest. One partner should use a black pen and the other partner a red pen. Rate your degree of agreement for each statement on a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being a definite yes and 1 being a definite no. Write your score on the first line to the left of each statement. The second line is for your partners score. You may find it difficult to give certain statements a low score. You may worry that your response will hurt or offend your partner or create conflict. Honesty, however, is critical for the success of the Co-Create a Conscious Relationship program. Also, no matter what score your partner writes down, be supportive; do not get defensive, resentful, or angry. Thank him or her for being courageous and honest. All of the topics in this assessment series are covered in detail, with exercises, in my book The Journey from I-TO-WE. Conscious Wounds
_____ _____ - 1 - We have identified emotional wounds from our past.
_____ _____ - 2 - We have identified our fears and negative self-beliefs.
_____ _____ - 3 - We understand the origin of our wounds, fears, and negative beliefs.
_____ _____ - 4 - We understand and accept responsibility for the impact they have on us individually.
_____ _____ - 5 - We understand and accept responsibility for the impact they have on our relationship.
_____ _____ - 6 - We have shared the stories about our wounds with each other.
_____ _____ - 7 - We have identified our distorted perspectives and unrealistic expectations.
_____ _____ - 8 - We understand how wounds create reactivity in our relationship.
_____ _____ - 9 - We have told each other what we need not to trigger a wound.
_____ _____ - 10 - We empathize and help our partner heal his or her wounds.
_____ _____ - Total Score
You have 10 statements for a total possible score of 100. If your total is:
80 or higher -- You scored in the upper percentile Congratulations! You have obviously taken the time to work, ensuring your relationship has the best chance to be successful. Though your relationship is strong, it can only benefit from gaining new awareness, new skills, and new techniques. Good luck in Co-Creating a Conscious Relationship! 60 79 -- You scored in the average range Congratulations! Re-read the statements you scored low on and take the time to learn how to raise your score. Consider Co-Creating a Conscious Relationshipthrough gaining new awareness, new skills, and new techniques. You and the relationship will be much stronger on The Journey from I-TO-WE. 0 59 -- You scored in the lower range Congratulations! You now know where you need to take the time to closely examine these areas of your relationship. It would benefit both of you to think about these statements, and work toward Co-Creating a Conscious Relationship through gaining new awareness, new skills, and new techniques. Commit to each other to give unselfishly and unconditionally to do whatever you need to do to make each other feel safe, loved and cared for I hope this part of this assessment has been enlightening and helpful.
When you get a chance, take the next set of this assessment.
Keep the print outs for each so, at the end of the series,
you can trace your progress on your journey to
Co-Create a Conscious Relationship. I hope you and your partner
Gain the Awareness, Learn the Skills and
Practice the Techniques so you are successful on your
Journey from I-TO-WE to live your lives as each others
Best Friends During the Day,
Lovers at Night, and
Partners for Life
2006 All Rights Reserved Glenn Cohen
I-TO-WE Relationship Coaching
|
